The Overview – International Women’s Day
This is coming from a woman perspective with the privilege to host a women discussion session and attend two big events (non profit sector and business sector) in March. These are my take on how women celebrate and what women advocate during International Women’s Day this year.
This year theme is about embracing equity, touches not just about equality but equity, diversity and inclusion. Especially in digital sector or STEM (Science, technology, engineering, mathematics) jobs. Many parties including ourselves highlighted on the challenges, blocks of cultural expectations, and the solutions towards the goal of having the same access to opportunities and resources. Interesting personal stories were shared from various backgrounds and this is just a little context.
A short introduction before we dive in.
Who Am I
An introduction about myself- I came from an event organizer background with over 300 small and big events (offline+online), focusing on human connection and self connection. Currently, diving into how can we create harmony within us and around us – conditioning self and environment via patterns. Also, initiating a space for women – to express, be in nature, to love our body and skin. This is my starting journey of learning about women via stories and various perspectives, what I shared here might be based on my personal experiences and background.
Here is where we begin.
A month ago, my best friend – Zhi Ee and I both wanted to do something for women, also apart of our own initiation towards womanhood. We asked ourselves a question – “what kind of world we hope to see and create?”
Why We Do What We Do?
We want to empower women leaders to express themselves freely, creating a path of their own.
Why?
There are a few commonalities as we grew up. One, on the suppression of thoughts, needs, wants and idea, where we suppressed and gave our power + voice away. Leading to different ways of suffering and emotional turmoils due to it.
POV- The Challenges Women Encountered
Some default behaviours of us as women where we give our power away, do you resonate with these?
- we tend to quickly dismiss our own ability,
- not holding our ground at work due to potential retaliation,
- giving unnecessary apologies,
- letting others take credit for ideas,
- the hesitancy to self promote,
- not understanding or using our influence,
- not leveraging relationships,
- a desire to be liked, and
- the suppression of thoughts and emotions.
The other external factors are the lack of allies, champions, support group, and sisterhood network which is very much needed for women.
The Creation Of Herstory
It started when we were planning for ‘Dinner For Singles’ in February, when we reach out to Common Ground about our plan to create something for women, we got the green light and here we are.
Her Story is designed for women from women with the intention to express ourselves freely. We want to see women advocating for ourselves. We want to see women owning our voice. We want to appreciate and celebrate our achievements. We want to build long lasting alliances and sisterhood to support each other along the way. And all these has to begin from ourselves.
What Is This About?
To express ourselves freely
This is a space where we expand our perspectives by breaking mental barriers thus increasing awareness. This is where we speak up and express ourselves with learned skills and techniques, thus increase our confidence. This is where we seek for support group, to connect, collaborate, and strengthen women network.
The First Offline Experience
Her Strength; Her Stories – Celebrating women leaders’ expression and empowerment.
‘Her Strength; Her Stories’ series, titled ‘Women Breaking Barriers in the Workplace’, in partnership with Common Ground, we bring together entrepreneurs, management leaders, and changemakers to share and discuss ways in breaking barriers in their business and career path. We started the session with a panel discussion, followed by group discussion on the myth of gender equality related statement.
Our esteemed guest panelists are as below:
- Emellia Shariff, Managing Partner, Speak Up Malaysia & CEO, MIDP;
- Ru Sow, Head of Partnership, Teras Dara Konsortium Sdn Bhd; and
- Yvoone Lee, The Regional Country Manager of The Flexi Group
They shared their personal experiences on facing and handling challenges on gender equality and equity in the workplace then addresses the solutions.
Before we enter
Do you know what is the difference between equality and equity?
“Equality is giving everyone a shoe, equity is giving everyone a shoe that fits.” Equity is a long-term and sustainable solution, and is a process for addressing imbalanced social systems.
Here are the highlights:
- When asking to describe the definition of equity and equality. Emellia mentioned that equity is the shoe given to walk the path, where everyone has different sizes, then equality is the goal. Equity is the process of how we get there.
- Removing barriers via policy structure and implement systematic changes is highly recommended by Emellia. Once we acknowledge the barriers in workplace, this is where we begin. The issue is women do not know that we are underpaid, we can start discussing and sharing our pay or salary with each other. She encourages growth and challenges in her team even it can be scary. ‘Go fail’.
- Yvonne highlighted to give and earn respect, we need to go back to the basic problems in the society. When asked about how to break barriers of gender equality and equity, she highlighted to start from each of us to walk the talk, especially during daily communication. Call people out when needed, and most importantly encourage each other.
- Ru shared her practical tips such as taking a pause before choosing sides. We need to educate ourselves first, speak up and support organisations of related work.
During the second session, we divided into 2 groups in circle to discuss on the myths of gender equally and equity, including our panelists and participants. This part is favoured and flavourful as we get to pick a statement then read it out for the group to pick a side (agree or disagree). Added with our thoughts and opinions about our choice. I appreciate those who voice their thoughts and those who listened, as we speak, we get to understand from different perspectives and it definitely expanded my mindset regarding this matter.
A Short Gratitude Note
A huge thanks to Amanda and Common Ground team, in less than a month, we made this a blast with great warmth conversations, and received colourful feedbacks. Also, a huge shoutout to friends and new friends who participated and co-created a meaningful session. Up next, we will be entering a more lifestyle topics for women – on stress, on body fitness, on expressions and more! Stay tuned and follow our IG here.
Relating to The Other International Women’s Day Events
Forum on Gender Equality and Women’s
Empowerment in Malaysia Madani
Here’s what I have learned from the forum on Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment in Malaysia Madani, organised by The United Nations in Malaysia and National Council of Women’s Organisations (NCWO). With 2 panels discussions with government officials, community leaders, academia, civil society and business community. Watch YT recorded version here.
On the first panel, we have the four panelists – Honey Tan, human rights
lawyer, Maria Chin Abdullah, former MP and Bersih 2.0 chairperson, Nurhuda Ramli, programme officer, outreach and empowerment Sisters In Islam, and Izzana Salleh, Global President and Asia Director Project Girls for Girls.
Here are some interesting data I got from the forum.
- Women in Malaysia in the CFO level is quite high compared to other countries in Southeast Asia. Yet, we are 300 years away from gender equality.
- Women political participation range at 13.6% in Malaysia parliament.
Q: What are the main barriers you see women facing on your space where women wanting to be a leader?
A: Honey Tan, a human rights lawyer addressed on the constitutional law where citizen can claim rights for equality from government. (Equality issues such as gender stereotypes and patriarchy) She addressed on the lack of understanding on what defines discrimination. For example, during MCO there were no access to health screenings for women and elderly especially on the transportation access.
A: Izzana salleh, Global President and Asia Director Project Girls for Girls, emphasised on these 3 points – first, women don’t step up because of perceived lack of confidence and second, do not have the necessary technical skills, say to negotiate for salary (70% of women don’t negotiate which creates expand in gender wage gap). Third, the support system culture affects women think – partner friends colleagues say go for it. Women inpowering.
Q: What are the common social norms that prevents us for equal rights?
A: Nurhuda Ramli, programme officer, outreach and empowerment Sisters In Islam stated an interesting sharing, if husband don’t allow women to work, the women will choose to stay at home. Youth believes in equal opportunity but when it comes to husband opinion, they choose to forgo that. Women don’t claim to be more progressive, especially on reproductive health or LGBT community. (Marginalized community)
Q: What the possible solutions?
A: Maria Chin Abdullah, former MP and Bersih 2.0 chairperson, mentioned the need to understand the perspectives, thus having dialogue on gender equality will benefit the engagement of the elected political representatives. To have the policies and laws to be implemented, it is crucial to have all level (from bottom to top management) of the organisation to understand why is important. Indonesia has gender commission where its responsibilities is to monitor the implementation and it’s consistency. It is the implementation that falters.
A: Izanna Salleh, Global President and Asia Director Project Girls for Girls, highlighted the benefits of mentorship from diverse generation background, having cross collaboration in discussion, and the great power in men to voice out,
Forum titled “Women In Business: Leading With Compassion”
This forum titled “Women In Business: Leading With Compassion” was organised by RDS Partnership and National Association of Women Entrepreneurs of Malaysia (NAWEM) featuring Dalvin Kaur, Lorela Chia, Vimala Arumugam & Yuin Yi Choy.
Some highlights the panelists addressed during this session.
- Some global issue in business world- Due to forced human labour matter. companies such as Uber and Top Glove were banned import which caused their companies’ shares price plummet.
- D.E.I. concept – Diversity, Equity, Inclusion.
- After pandemic, women losing job is 45%.
- Stereotype of women- Feeling the need to be a strong woman.
- The main challenge for most women- The lack of confidence which created self doubt.
- Opinion- Women underestimate both of their confidence and competence, while men overestimate confidence and competence.
Advices for women-
- Challenge and opportunity are two sides of the coin.
- Don’t sit and think too much
- Yon don’t have to be 100% ready, 80% is enough.
- Don’t take it personally, speak up.
- Invite more women to talk in forum.
- Create safe environment for women – flexible hours, space for kids etc.
- Hiring criteria do not based on gender.
At the end, I learned that..
we want to be valued and treated equally, despite being a man or a woman. Let’s be open and start to question everything. Knowing we have the power to do something about it.
‘How do we use this moment to elevate what is happening instead of continually victimizing ourselves?’
Oprah Winfrey
Before we end..
Instead of asking which side are you on, can we be on the side of human flourishing? Can we appreciate women as who we are and men for who they are? Is Gender neutral possible?
What if equality is a complete illusion?
Here’s an interesting perspective from Teal Swan, have you ever consider this?
Why do we fight for equality & superiority?
Human ego perceives threat and once it loses its superiority, it feels the decrease in self concept. This is how we would perceive ourselves as the human ego cannot stand to perceive itself as less than something, it reduces our capacity to get what it is that we are wanting.
Thus creating the subconscious mission to knock anything we see as a threat, anything that is higher or better than us. We only care about equality when we feel less than something. When we feel superior, we won’t fight or care for it. In other words, you only care about equality when you don’t want anything to be higher than you. Highlighting the shadow side, why people of superior advantage would fight for people? It is that they enjoy the superiority of their morality. Interesting eh. These are truths in different dimensions where truths are contradictory.
With Love,
Vic Qi Pan
Dot In A Circle 
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